Wednesday September 23,2026
Bible Study: Proverbs 19:1–14
Wisdom for the Choices We Make
Last week we finished Proverbs 18, and once again Solomon gave us some very practical wisdom about the way we live and the way we treat one another.
We talked about the power of our words.
We talked about the name of the LORD being a strong tower.
We talked about friendship.
And toward the end of the chapter, we talked about what happens when someone becomes offended.
Proverbs 18:19 told us that an offended brother can become harder to reach than a fortified city.
We’ll see some more on this in a bit.
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Was there a particular Proverb that stuck out in your mind that really convicted or encouraged you?
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Tonight, as we move into Proverbs 19, Solomon continues giving us wisdom for everyday life.
And one of the things that continues to stand out to me in these verses is the importance of the choices we make every single day.
Think about this for a minute:
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Now, don’t get me wrong, things can certainly happen to us that are outside of our control.
We don't control everything that happens in life.
But we are responsible for the choices we make every day.
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We choose how we're going to speak.
We choose how we're going to respond when somebody hurts us.
We choose whether we're going to tell the truth.
We choose whether we're going to act quickly or seek wisdom first.
We choose what and who we listen to.
We choose what we look at.
Every book, magazine, website, tv channel, movie, social media post, you get the picture!
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And believe it or not, over time those choices begin shaping the direction of our lives.
That's really where Solomon begins tonight.
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Section 1: Verses 1–5 — Integrity, Foolishness, and Truth
Proverbs 19:1 (CSB)
1 Better a poor person who lives with integrity than someone who has deceitful lips and is a fool.
1 Better a poor person who lives with integrity than someone who has deceitful lips and is a fool.
Solomon starts with a comparison.
On one side, we have someone who is poor but has integrity.
His word is his bond.
What you see, is what you get.
We all know people like that.
Hopefully, we’re people like that!
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On the other side, we have somebody who may appear to be doing better in life, but he is dishonest and foolish.
Every word has an agenda.
You never really know whether you can trust what they're telling you.
They say one thing, but do another.
We also know people like this.
Hopefully, we’re not people like this!
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Solomon says the poor person with integrity is better off.
Let me ask you:
How does our culture usually determine whether somebody is successful?
Money?
Career?
The house they live in?
The car they drive?
The clothes they wear?
Their position or influence?
None of those things necessarily tell us anything about the person's character.
God places tremendous value on something the world often overlooks:
Integrity.
Integrity is being the same person when nobody is watching that we are when everybody is watching.
It's doing what is right even when doing what's right costs us.
You may not have much money.
You may never have your name on a building.
You may never have thousands of people who know who you are.
But if you're walking faithfully with God and living with integrity, Solomon says you possess something far more valuable than appearances.
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Proverbs 19:2 (CSB) 2 Even zeal is not good without knowledge, and the one who acts hastily sins.
I like this verse because Solomon reminds us that being passionate or having zeal about something doesn't necessarily mean we're right about it.
Have you ever been absolutely convinced you were right about something only to discover later that you didn't know the whole story?
The problem isn't zeal itself.
The problem is when our enthusiasm gets ahead of our understanding.
Sometimes we get a little bit of information and immediately react.
We make a phone call.
Send a text.
Confront somebody.
Make a decision.
And then later we find out there was more to the story.
Solomon says zeal without knowledge isn't good.
In other words:
Slow down.
Get the facts.
Pray about it.
Seek wisdom.
Don't let emotion make a decision that wisdom wouldn't make.
We’ve actually talked about this several times.
In our series through the book of James we remember how he tells us something very similar.
James 1:19 (CSB) 19 My dear brothers and sisters, understand this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger.
Sometimes one of the wisest things we can do is simply wait before we react.
I know that many times we feel like a decision is needed right away.
That may be true sometimes, but not always.
More often than not, we have time to do some homework.
Look into a matter before we make a decision.
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Proverbs 19:3 (CSB) 3 A person’s own foolishness leads him astray, yet his heart rages against the LORD.
Now this verse can get uncomfortable.
It hits very close to home, if you know what I mean.
Because Solomon describes something human beings have been doing since the Garden of Eden.
Adam blamed Eve.
Genesis 3:12 (CSB): The woman you gave to be with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate.
But if you listen carefully, he was also pointing a finger toward God.
“The woman You gave me…”
“The woman You gave me…”
In other words, “Yes, I ate it—but God, if You hadn't given me this woman…”
Thousands of years later, human nature hasn't changed very much.
And before we get too hard on Adam and Eve, be honest:
We have all done this!
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Something we do has a bad result and we try to shift the blame to somebody else!
And sometimes, even worse, just like Adam we even try to blame God.
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We make a foolish financial decision. And our first reaction is saying: but the salesman said….
We ignore wise advice. And we complain, “I didn’t think she was right!”
We enter a relationship everybody warned us about.
Like my mom did with one of my girlfriends and my response was:
“But I love her.”
Not too long into the relationship, she isn’t the girl I thought she was.
Can anyone say amen?
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We lose our temper.
We say something we shouldn't have said.
When confronted about it we firmly state, “They started it!”
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We neglect something we knew we should have done.
Then when everything falls apart, we ask:
“God, why did You let this happen to me?”
And Solomon says sometimes the answer is:
God didn't lead us there. Our own foolishness did.
Can anyone here relate?
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That doesn't mean every hardship is the result of some foolish decision we've made.
Job certainly teaches us that.
We’re going to talk a little bit about him this Sunday.
His story is a great example of how sometimes suffering comes even when we've done nothing wrong.
But Solomon is telling us that there are times when we need to stop blaming God and honestly examine our own decisions.
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That's part of spiritual maturity.
Instead of asking only:
“Why did this happen to me?”
Maybe sometimes we need to ask:
“Lord, is there something You want me to learn from the choices that brought me here?”
Remember, wisdom doesn't just learn from somebody else's mistakes; wisdom is willing to learn from our own.
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Proverbs 19:4 (CSB) 4 Wealth attracts many friends, but a poor person is separated from his friend.
Money has a strange way of attracting people.
As one lotto winner was heard saying, “I didn’t know I had this big a family until I won the lotto!”
People are often attracted to the benefits of the wealth—such as gifts, status, or influence—rather than the actual character of the person holding it.
As I studied this verse I couldn’t help but think of a song by a band called Styx whose lyrics went something like this:
“I’ve dozens of friends and the fun never ends, that is as long as I’m buyin’”
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The second half of the proverb highlights the isolating sting of financial hardship.
When a person falls on hard times and no longer has material benefits to offer, sometimes the people they thought were friends begin to disappear.
I think that the main point of this verse is that we need to look beyond material wealth when building friendships.
Solomon is making an observation about human nature.
Wealth can attract people, and poverty can drive them away.
So maybe one of the questions this verse ought to make us ask is:
What are our friendships built on?
If you are prosperous, don't be fooled by flattery.
And if you want to be a true friend, be the kind of person who stays when the money is there and when it's gone.
What do hardships sometimes reveal about our friendships?
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Proverbs 19:5 (CSB) 5 A false witness will not go unpunished, and one who utters lies will not escape.
This verse brings us back to something we've seen repeatedly in Proverbs:
God cares about truth.
A lie may seem useful at the moment.
But it always comes with a cost.
A lie might even get somebody out of trouble.
Or it might make somebody look better.
It could even hurt somebody we don't like.
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But Solomon says a false witness will ultimately be held accountable.
That reminds me of another verse from the O/T:
Numbers 32:23 (CSB) 23 But if you don’t do this, you will certainly sin against the LORD; be sure your sin will catch up with you.
God sees everything!
And God knows the truth even when nobody else does.
Let’s think about these first five verses together.
They talk about:
Integrity.
Hasty decisions.
Personal responsibility.
Money.
Truth.
They may seem disconnected, but there's a common thread:
Wisdom isn't just something we know.
Wisdom affects the choices we make.
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Section 2: Verses 6–10 — When Relationships Become Transactional
We’re going to look at the next two verses together:
Proverbs 19:6-7 (CSB) 6 Many seek a ruler’s favor, and everyone is a friend of one who gives gifts. 7 All a poor person’s brothers hate him; how much more do his friends keep their distance from him! He may pursue them with words, but they are not there.
Solomon is making an observation about human nature.
People tend to gather around somebody, especially a ruler, who has something to offer them.
Money.
Influence.
Position.
Opportunity.
Connections.
But when those things disappear, sometimes the people disappear too.
Have you heard the saying, “what have you done for me lately?”
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So here's a question:
How do you know whether somebody really loves you—or merely loves what you can do for them?
I’m sure we can all provide examples of this right?
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We have to understand that there is a difference between a relationship and a transaction.
We have to understand that there is a difference between a relationship and a transaction.
A transaction says:
“I'll stay around as long as I'm getting something from you.”
A relationship says:
“I'm here because I care about you.”
Remember what we just read last week in Proverbs 18:24?
Proverbs 18:24 (CSB) 24 One with many friends may be harmed, but there is a friend who stays closer than a brother.
Real friendship is often revealed when you no longer have anything to offer.
And isn't that one of the beautiful things about Jesus?
Jesus didn't come to us because He needed something from us.
He came because He loved us.
Romans 5:8 (CSB) 8 But God proves his own love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
We didn't earn that love.
We couldn't buy that love.
And we had nothing we could offer God that He needed.
He loved us because of who He is.
Proverbs 19:8 (CSB) 8 The one who acquires good sense loves himself; one who safeguards understanding finds success.
There is a difference between having information and having wisdom.
You can know a lot of things and still make terrible decisions.
Biblical wisdom means learning God's truth and then allowing that truth to shape the way we live.
And notice Solomon says we must safeguard understanding.
Why?
Because knowing something today doesn't guarantee we'll live by it tomorrow.
We have to continually return to God's Word.
As we have seen in this Proverbs study, we have to keep it on our minds because we tend to forget.
These truths are much too important to forget!
Why do you think it's so easy to know what God's Word says and still fail to do it?
Proverbs 19:9–10 (CSB) 9 A false witness will not go unpunished, and one who utters lies perishes.
Verse 9 repeats the warning from verse 5 almost word for word.
Whenever Scripture repeats something that quickly, we ought to pay attention.
Truth matters to God.
10 Luxury is not appropriate for a fool—how much less for a slave to rule over princes!
This verse describes things being out of order.
A foolish person lacks the moral grounding, discipline, and wisdom to properly manage or enjoy wealth.
Instead of using luxury well, a fool is usually ruined or made more arrogant by it.
Again, I think about many lotto winners who are broke 5 years later.
Money cannot buy you wisdom!
Luxury in the hands of a fool doesn't make the fool wise.
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The second half sounds strange to our modern ears because Solomon is describing the social structure of his own time.
He's painting a picture of something being completely out of order—a servant suddenly exercising authority over princes.
His point isn't that a servant has less value as a person.
It's that position and authority require the wisdom and character necessary to handle them.
And that's still true today.
Somebody can receive a title without receiving wisdom.
Somebody can be promoted without having character.
Somebody can suddenly come into money without knowing how to manage it.
Somebody can be promoted without having character.
Somebody can suddenly come into money without knowing how to manage it.
Position doesn't produce character. It reveals it.
So what have these verses shown us?
Be careful about relationships built only on what someone can provide.
Hold on to wisdom once you've learned it.
Tell the truth.
And don't confuse money or position with character.
Once again, wisdom shows up in the choices we make and the people we become.
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Section 3: Verses 11–14 — Wisdom in Anger, Forgiveness, and the Home
Proverbs 19:11 (CSB) 11 A person’s insight gives him patience, and his virtue is to overlook an offense.
Now here's one I think we need to spend some time on.
Last week we read:
Proverbs 18:19 (CSB) 19 An offended brother is harder to reach than a fortified city, and quarrels are like the bars of a fortress.
We talked about what happens when somebody gets hurt.
The walls go up.
The gates close.
And before long, two people who once cared about each other are standing on opposite sides of a fortress.
But tonight Solomon gives us something that can keep some of those walls from ever being built.
He says there is virtue in overlooking an offense.
Let that sink in.
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That doesn't mean we ignore abuse.
It doesn't mean serious sin should never be confronted.
It doesn't mean we pretend something didn't hurt.
Overlooking an offense doesn't mean saying, “That didn't hurt.”
It means saying, “I'm not going to let what you did control what I do next.”
It also means:
Not every offense requires a confrontation.
Not every comment needs a response.
Not every disagreement has to become an argument.
Not every wrong needs to become a battle.
I remember a few years ago at a church business meeting I was on a committee that recommended security cameras for the entire church property.
It was a major investment, but one that I and my committee strongly believed in.
We brought it up for a churchwide vote and it passed.
Right afterwards, one of the deacons came up to me and yelled at me saying that we should be using that money for something else, and several other things.
He was really mad at me.
I didn’t know why he was mad at me since the church voted on it and it passed with a large percentage in favor.
Anyway, I chose not to respond according to my first instinct. You have to remember my background as a correctional officer and being in confrontations often.
I paused, said a small prayer and chose instead to only say, “I’m sorry you feel that way.”
About 3 or 4 hours later, I got a text from this deacon apologizing to me.
I accepted his apology and I sent him this verse.
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Now think about what could have happened if I had responded to his anger with anger of my own.
Now think about what could have happened if I had responded to his anger
I could have defended myself.
I could have reminded him that the church voted for it.
I could have told him exactly what I thought about the way he was talking to me.
I could have reminded him that the church voted for it.
I could have told him exactly what I thought about the way he was talking to me.
And I might have even been right.
But being right doesn't always mean we have to respond.
Sometimes wisdom gives the other person enough room to realize for themselves that they were wrong.
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You see, sometimes maturity says:
“That hurt me. That wasn't right. But I'm not going to carry it around.”
Peter tells us:
1 Peter 4:8 (CSB) 8 Above all, maintain constant love for one another, since love covers a multitude of sins.
Let me ask you something:
Are there some things we simply need to learn to let go?
Do we really need to argue about everything?
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Because if we're determined to be offended by every imperfect thing another imperfect person does, we're going to spend our entire lives offended.
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And remember—we're imperfect too.
Sometimes we're the person who needs to overlook the offense.
And sometimes it’s our offense that somebody else graciously overlooks.
Sometimes we're the person who needs to extend grace.
Sometimes we're the person who desperately needs to receive it.
And usually, we're both.
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Proverbs 19:12 (CSB) 12 A king’s rage is like the roaring of a lion, but his favor is like dew on the grass.
That's quite a contrast, isn't it?
Solomon compares one leader to the roar of a lion and the other to dew on the grass.
One creates fear.
The other brings refreshment.
The other brings refreshment.
And here's something we need to remember:
You don't have to be a king to have influence over somebody else.
You don't have to be a king to have influence over somebody else.
Parents influence the atmosphere of their homes.
Supervisors influence the atmosphere of the workplace.
Teachers influence the atmosphere of the classroom.
And church leaders influence the atmosphere of the church.
Supervisors influence the atmosphere of the workplace.
Teachers influence the atmosphere of the classroom.
And church leaders influence the atmosphere of the church.
So maybe the question isn't simply, “Am I a leader?”
Maybe the better question is:
“What kind of atmosphere do I create for the people around me?”
“What kind of atmosphere do I create for the people around me?”
Because Solomon reminds us that authority carries weight.
The reactions of somebody in authority affect the people they lead.
That applies to kings, certainly.
But any leader should remember that their words can affect everyone.
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Back in the day, I worked for a Captain who was known for a bad temper. Every now and then I’d hear an officer say, “Don’t even talk to the Captain today, he’s on the warpath!”
On those days, the shift would seem to last a lot more than 8 hours!
But, I’ve also worked for leaders who were just the opposite.
They had a great attitude and were very positive.
Working for those leaders, the days seemed very short indeed!
Same job. Same eight-hour shift. But a completely different atmosphere because of the person leading it.
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Proverbs 19:13 (CSB) 13 A foolish son is his father’s ruin, and a wife’s nagging is an endless dripping.
Solomon doesn't sugarcoat family life, does he?
Family can bring some of the greatest joy we'll ever experience.
And family conflict can cause some of the deepest pain we'll ever experience.
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A foolish child affects more than himself.
His choices affect his parents and everyone around him.
I’ve known some great men who accomplished a lot in their lives but had a son or daughter who rebelled and suffered very bad consequences.
Those men have told me that they would trade all of their success if it meant their kids were successful.
As a parent, I agree that it is a difficult and painful thing to have a wayward child.
And we need to remember something here.
A child's foolish choices don't necessarily mean Mom and Dad were foolish parents.
A child's foolish choices don't necessarily mean Mom and Dad were foolish parents.
Eventually our children make their own decisions.
Solomon's point is that when somebody we love chooses a destructive path, their choices don't hurt only them.
The people who love them hurt too.
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Then Solomon gives us a picture everybody can understand.
Constant quarrelling in a marriage is like water that never stops dripping.
Drip.
Drip.
Drip.
Drip.
Drip.
One drop doesn't seem like much.
But after a while, it wears you down.
But after a while, it wears you down.
And that's how constant conflict works in a relationship.
One complaint.
Drip
One cutting remark.
Drip
One argument.
Drip
One more criticism.
Drip.
Eventually it begins wearing away at the relationship.
Maybe that's another reason verse 11 is so important.
If we never learn to overlook an offense, pretty soon every little thing becomes another drip.
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Proverbs 19:14 (CSB) 14 A house and wealth are inherited from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the LORD.
I love the way this section ends.
Some things can be inherited.
Money.
Property.
Possessions.
But Solomon says a prudent, wise wife is something far more valuable.
A prudent wife is from the LORD.
I can certainly attest to that! 
As with other Proverbs that only mention one spouse, this certainly can apply to husbands too.
I know that some of God's greatest blessings aren't things we can put a price tag on.
And maybe that's a good place for us to stop tonight.
Recap
Tonight Solomon has given us wisdom about some very ordinary parts of life.
He's reminded us that integrity is worth more than appearances.
He's warned us not to make decisions before we know the whole story.
He's told us to take responsibility when our own foolish choices lead us into trouble.
He's reminded us that real relationships are about more than what somebody can do for us.
He's shown us the importance of truth.
And he's challenged us to become people mature enough that we don't turn every offense into a battle.
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But underneath all of those things is one larger truth:
The choices we make reveal the condition of our hearts.
Listen to what Jesus says in:
Matthew 12:35 (CSB) 35 A good person produces good things from his storeroom of good, and an evil person produces evil things from his storeroom of evil.
So maybe the question we should leave with tonight isn't simply:
“Am I making good choices?”
Maybe the deeper question is:
“What do my choices reveal about my heart?”
Because God isn't merely interested in changing our behavior.
He wants to change our hearts.
And when Jesus changes the heart, eventually it begins showing up in the choices we make.
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As we look back over these fourteen verses:
Which one spoke most directly to you tonight—and why?
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